Guide to Being an Art Snob

Art

11/24/15

Here’s how to sound like you know what you’re talking about when walking around an art gallery or museum exhibit: a guide to being an art snob.

Lift a New York Times Description

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The city’s most iconic paper is chock-full of intellectual descriptions you can pass off as your own. For example, before your next dinner party, read this review of MoMa’s Picasso Sculptures exhibit, and casually refer to the collection as, “dizzyingly peripatetic.” You’re going to sound pretty freaking brilliant.

Better Yet: Just Read Reviews

Read The New York Times Art Section before you hit galleries and museums to get context into what you’re looking at. Perhaps you’ll come up with your own original opinion to share at your next dinner party.

Compare Art to an Obscure Musician

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If you’re going to B.S. your way through understanding a work of art, keep your conversations in generally unfamiliar territories. A good place to start is an obscure musician: Jazz tends to be best due to its erraticism and formulaic ambiguity. Compare a painting to a Larry Coryell composition or a Roswell Rudd solo, and we guarantee heads will be nodding, even if eyes are glazing over.

Better Yet: Actually Look for Music in Works You Don’t Understand

Looking at art in comparison to other mediums is actually an effective way to articulate your thoughts on a piece. When viewing an exhibit, ask yourself, “If this piece were a song, who would sing it?”

Disagree with Everyone

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Be a contrarian: Disagree with the masses and swear by your stance as loudly as possible. A good place to start might be promoting Bjork’s recent MoMa exhibit, which was called, “An ill-conceived disaster,” by the Atlantic, and “a weirdly unambitious show,” by The Guardian.

Better Yet: Speak from the Heart

Develop an honest opinion, and even the most well-versed critic will respect you. If you thought looking at images of Bjork in crazy dresses and listening to her ethereal soundscapes was cool, then praise it.

Buy an Introductory Art Textbook

Young woman reading a book by fireplace

If you have a friend who went to art school, borrow one of his or her textbooks—Prebles’ Artforms is a good place to start—and get a general understanding of studio terms such as trompe l’oeil and chiaroscuro. This list of vocab words alone will act as conversation-interrupting fodder for years.

Better Yet: Take an Art Class

Sign up for a class or lecture* and gain meaningful insights into process, form and execution. You’ll have a whole new appreciation for every work of art you see, for the rest of your life. Pretty good use of time, no?

*Coursehorse is an excellent resource for finding classes on painting, photography, ceramics and more. It also posts special, custom tours of the city’s best museums. If you need booze to get you to an art lesson, try Paint Along NYC.

Dominate the Conversation

Group of friends eating out and looking at smartphone

Art snobs spout faux-intellectual thoughts as loudly as possible, drowning out any other opinions.

Better Yet: Listen and Learn

Listen to what your fellow art appreciators have to say: You could learn something. If you are wandering a exhibit by yourself, then eavesdrop. The city’s most interesting conversations are happening all around you.

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